I've never been the type to post the stereotypical "New
Year New Me" bullshit when January 1 comes around. I've never made a New
Year's Resolution that I know I'll never keep. I don't spend a ridiculous
amount of money on a gym membership that will become dormant after three weeks.
But this year is going to be different, because even though I won't actually
say "New Year New Me," it is the year that this statement will be
true in its most literal form.
Late last year, I started doing a lot of soul searching, not just regarding my
eventual transition, but in regards to my overall health and well-being. In a
few months, I'm going to be 35 years old; I stand at Six-Foot-Two and weigh
just over 320 pounds. I carry my weight well, and most people don't believe
that I am quite so heavy, a fact that I am forever grateful for. However, most
of the time, I feel like garbage. I rarely get a good night's sleep; I struggle
sometimes to walk up a flight of stairs; and my back is always in pain. This
last bit is thanks to several herniated disks in my back, I have stenosis of my
lumbar, my sacroiliac joint is fused, and I have what one doctor referred to as
"Impressive Scoliosis." And let's not forget my family history of
heart disease and cancer, in fact, every male over the age of 50 in my family
has had to deal with prostate cancer, so the odds of me facing the same
eventual diagnosis are not one you would want to bet against.
So what do I do about these health issues that are either building up or hiding
around the corner like a mugger in Central Park? I've tried dieting more times
than I can count (and I can count pretty damn high.) I've had enough of failing
to make changes in my life, I'm done being in pain all the time. I'm sick and
tired of being sick and tired. It's time to start looking at the other options.
So in late November, I decided to look into Bariatric Surgery. There are
several options, each with their own risks and rewards, and after careful
consideration BEFORE my consultation with the doctor, I had an idea in mind of
what I might want to do. I arrived to my appointment and met with the man who
might finally take this excess weight from me and to my surprise; I left his
office half an hour later seriously considering an option I formally said would
never happen. I went home and discussed all of the options with my
parents and my wife, and together, we all agreed that the Gastric Sleeve might
be the best thing for me to plan for.
Don't get me wrong, the idea of surgery terrifies me, but after reading about
all of the options, and hearing about people who've had not only the sleeve but
some other options, it really did seem like the best and safest choice. So I
set the plan in motion and made my next appointment. My first step was to
meet with a nutritionist, because in order for insurance to pay for the
procedure, I need to undergo 4 months of supervised diet to prove that I can
make the life changes that are necessary. Is it weird that this scared me more
than the concept of having 70% of my stomach removed? Like I said, I've tried
and failed at diets for most of my life. Isn't the entire point of bariatric
surgery because I can't lose the weight from diet alone?
So I meet with the doctor and she lays out this crazy diet plan that includes
essentially NO CARBS. I was almost ready to cry right from the start, I don't
remember the last day that I went without eating bread… when was the last time
I went as long as a week without pasta. Next I'm told to eat plenty of
vegetables, but nothing starchy such as potatoes, rice, or corn, (OK, I'm
screwed,) and plenty of lean protein (that's doable.) We made up a mini
menu of what I should aim for each meal and I set off on my own to start
planning. First thing I did was sit down with my parents and wife to discuss
this meal plan, because there's no way I can make it without their help. Mom
cooks dinner for us at least once or twice a week, usually fried chicken
cutlets or some type of pasta. My wife works in a supermarket and loves to
spoil me by bringing home my favorite chips or cookies. I know that if they
can't change their habits, there's no way I'm succeeding on this diet, and I
plan on trying harder than ever before.
I decided that it would be best to wait until January 1, just because of the
simple fact that I was planning on going to a New Year's party where the
anticipated menu was frozen pizza and garlic bread. So when that fateful
day came, I was ready to give it the best try I could. I weighed in at 324 pounds
and could not wait to see that number start with a 2 for the first time in
almost 10 years. I'm not going to drag out my daily routines, but
after almost 3 weeks, I've lost almost 15 pounds, I haven’t had a single piece
of bread or a noodle; I haven’t been tempted by a chocolate chip cookie or a
bag of my favorite chips. I've spent just short of 3 weeks eating salads,
grilled chicken, tuna fish, eggs and protein shakes. I've mixed up my salads by
adding chicken and meatballs, I sometimes use buffalo sauce as a dressing to
boost the flavors, and believe it or not, I'm actually enjoying things. It's
thus far been easier than I ever imagined, and that's mostly been thanks to my
amazing support, not only at home, but at work.
I have so much to look forward to as 2018 continues, because in just 2 weeks, I
have my first appointment with the endocrinologist, to start planning the next
stage of my transition… HORMONES. While there is no set timeline until I will
start taking them, it seems like it could happen really quick (although I don't
plan on starting ASAP.) The people I've spoken to from the office are really
nice, and they mailed me all of the new patient paperwork in order to get a
head start on appointment preparation. Included in this paperwork, was the
prescription to go for my blood work, and a request that I bring a letter from
my therapist giving her recommendation that I begin my transition. From those
I've spoken to previously, it seems like this could be a good sign for a quick
start as apparently many others have to meet with their endo before being sent
for blood work and bringing in the therapists note. So this office obviously
stays a good step ahead of the game, and that could only be a good thing in my
opinion.
So as I wrap this post up, things really are taking a major turn in my life.
I'm hoping that by the time my birthday comes around in April, I'll have
started hormone therapy and have scheduled my bariatric surgery. 2018: The year
that I finally start to love who I am and how I look, the year that Crystal
becomes more than just the image in my mind.
